You’re hosting your first Thanksgiving. Do not mess it up. There are few more overt markers of adulthood than pulling a golden 30-pound turkey out of your oven, except perhaps knowing how to carve the thing. And then there’s setting the table, and all the trimmings, and don’t even get me started on pie. In this, as in all things, turn to the Internet in your time of need. Invite friends online, let Pandora handle your party mix, and have 90 percent of your supplies delivered to your doorstep.
Here’s your Thanksgiving on autopilot:
- Candy Apples Pie crust never broke anyone’s teeth, am I right?
- Felt Ball Garland Face it, you would never reuse the paper turkey.
- Stainless Drink Dispenser Hey, look. A bartender!
- Pot Pie Because leftovers are really the whole point of turkey anyway.
Set your Pandora station to “I Must Belong Somewhere” from Bright Eyes
Paperless Post’s Red Apple
- Crosscut Board A cheese board is so much classier than chips and dip.
- Cowgirl Creamery Cheese Your grocery store mostly has a wide selection of cheddar.
- Turkey Galantine The easiest way to keep your relatives from picking at the roast turkey while it cools.
- Felted Acorn Napkin Holders They’re technically Christmas ornaments, but they’d lend such a festive touch to the table. See? Multi-purpose! Felted acorns are super useful.
- Twig Candleholder Fall flowers are kinda ugly.
Set your Pandora station to “Roll Away Your Stone” from Mumford and Sons
Piesicles “Pie is delicious and all, but it’s just so inconvenient.”